Blessed?

Are we truly blessed?
I mean think about it ..if we were really blessed ..would we feel pain? would our hearts be broken? would we loose the person we love? would we meet with accidents? would our hair and teeth fall?would we need beauty creams and makeup? would super models make us feel fat?
Or....is it like reverse psychology??????
help me understand this.....are we suppose to look at what negativly affects us and feel like we are blessed?...feel content?

What's left?

What happens when the world seems to close up on you?
When there are no more dreams?
No more rainbows to follow?
No more sliver lines on a dark cloud that brightens the horizon?
When the last drop of your energy is drained...
Or when the tears stop...
When your heart stops loving or feeling?
And what's left when you give up on your soul?
....would you give up??.....or stand facing the storm....even if your alone.....

facing reality....they are gone from us...

the other day I was seated in my room...remebering how difficult it was when my mum passed away....the anger ...the hurt... the feeling of being lost...
I was quite young and my dad decided to just pack up and take my sis and me far away just to get away from all the calls and the visitors...he's way of dealing with her death was completely diffrent to mine or my sisters..I guess though we were going through the same loss, we all had are own way's of dealing with it...I lost my faith when my mum died, not only because it was xmas when she passed away..but becasue no one deserves to be in pain for as long as she did..not when you are as peacful and as loving as she was ....God does work in weird ways ..

looking back...I dont even remembr how i got through the pain and the anger now...but i did....and time i guess does heal somewhat...its been 17 years and some feelings you just cant change...especialy the feeling of loosing someone you love..be it a parent or a loved one who's close to your heart

And everyone has their own ways of dealing with loss...especially of a parent..i guess if i was older i would have dealt with it in a totally diffrent way..probably bury myself in a ton of work or run away to my special place..but one things for sure...the faster you deal with it the faster you can get your life back on track...and understanding what happend and why makes the healing stronger...and never be afriad to ask for a shoulder...i am blessed now with freind who've held my hand so many times...and there is always one person there by you to help you through..

i dont believe in palm readings and horoscopes..though i do take a sneak peak once in while..but a palm reader told me that there was a spirit of someone always watching over me...and that gives me some solace to know that my mum is still with me..maybe our bodies perish and nothing remains but an empty coffin -ash's to ash's dust to dust - but a soul will never leave your side...
And though it's hard...find solace that the person you lost will always be there with you...atleast in your heart....

off this boat

its funny how one can be fullfilled as well as lonely at the same time..i was seated in bed...listenign to heavy metal and Mr.Dunhill was keeping me company and i was missing someone or something...and the feeling of not being in control and not knowing what to expect is just horrible...how do you say "to hell with it"...dont you get to point when you say "enough is enough..why me..."

I think.....I'm getting off this boat......coming Mr.Dunhill??